Scared
by GirlWithTheRedSoxCap
Summary: This is a one shot about Skye's feelings on her only fear. It is collection of her scattered thoughts and memories. This is my first time writing something like this.


**This is a one shot about Skye's feelings on her only fear. It is collection of her scattered thoughts and memories. This is my first time writing something like this. I do not own the Penderwicks or the poem ****There Was a Little Girl ****by Henry Longfellow. Skye is OOC for feelings and being starkly honest with herself. Thanks!**

Scared.

That's something I can't afford to be.

I'm Skye, the feisty, dare devil, courageous sister with a quick temper.

I chase away the monsters that lurk under Batty's bed,

I beat up the bullies who tease Jane and call her odd or strange.

No one has ever seen me cry.

Ever.

Not even when fell out the big oak tree in Quigley woods and broke my arm in two places.

I didn't let myself.

I choked down the tears.

I can't be weak.

Ever.

I'm tough.

I'm a force to be reckoned with on the soccer field.

On the outside I act intimidating and fearless.

I could care less what other people say about me.

I never back down

And I protect my family and their name at all costs.

But I'm not fearless.

No one is.

According to the dictionary,

The definition of a hero is

Someone who is brave and courageous

Who performs selfless deeds

They seem immortal

But in truth are all too human and has a fatal flaw

I may be the protector

I may be daring and fearless sister

But I am all too human

Just because they don't see me cry

Doesn't mean that I don't

I only have one fear

Love.

And that fatal flaw

It's not my temper

It's not that I am rash, impulsive, or headstrong.

It's a boy.

Who came into my life,

On a warm August afternoon,

When I crashed through a hedge,

Colliding with him head on,

Nearly giving him a concussion.

I don't wear pink,

Or lace or frills,

I prefer my scuffed up converse

And lucky army hat

With a blonde ponytail

Sticking out of the back

I am proud of my scab covered knees,

The tears in my jeans,

The smudges of dirt,

That cover me.

They are like badges of honor,

Each with a different story,

Showing my courage.

My father use to quote an old Longfellow poem about me and my temper.

"There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good,

She was very good indeed,

But when she was bad she was horrid."

My sisters use to replace "horrid" with "duck and cover!"There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good,

She was very good indeed,

But when she was bad she was horrid.

There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good,

She was very good indeed,

But when she was bad she was horrid.

There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good,

She was very good indeed,

But when she was bad she was horrid.

Nothing scares me.

Especially not love.

I would never say this out loud as long I live but…

It does.

Love terrifies me.

I may be reckless and jump before I think but not when it comes to feelings.

And the thing that scares me most comes in the form of a boy.

With spring green eyes

And a face peppered with freckles.

My best friend.

But I won't let myself love him.

Not like that,

Not now,

Not ever.

I never let anyone see how much losing my mom hurt me

Rosalind cries in her sleep,

Grasping at something that is no longer there.

Batty craves stories and memories about her,

Trying to make form a picture she will never see.

And sometimes when I think Jane is talking to herself, she is really talking to her,

Waiting for an answer that will never come.

My mother was everything I ever wanted to be.

Beautiful, wise, strong, composed, and loving.

She is everything that I will never be.

When my perfect mother died,

My world shattered.

I promised myself that I would never let anyone in again.

I would protect my family with every ounce of courage I had.

I would be the protector.

But I wouldn't let myself love anyone new.

Because I knew what happens when you love someone more than anything else:

They leave you.

Love makes you weak.

It only leaves you bruised and burned.

It makes you vulnerable,

When you love someone

You let your walls crumble

And you show them your scars

You tell them your secrets and fears

They know you demons

And they see you cry

Love shatters the carefully constructed mask the rest of the world sees

Nothing lasts forever.

It's a scientific fact.

Because in the end

All you're left with is

Aching memories

A shattered heart

And more scars

When you lose someone

They never truly leave you

They stay with you

Their memory is imprinted on your heart

It shows in every move you make

Every word you speak

Everything that you do

I couldn't be in love with Jeffrey.

And if I was I would simply make myself stop

Mind over matter

Simple as that

Only it's not.

I barely survived losing someone the first time.

I don't think I will make it out a second time.


End file.
